A group of 160 priests trained at the English College of Douai, in France. They were martyred in England and Wales during the century following the foundation of the famed college by Cardinal William Allen in 1568. All perished at the hands of English authorities while laboring to reconvert the island. Eighty alumni of Douai were beatified in 1929.
When I first started discerning the priestly vocation I felt Jesus present to me, it was a joyful time, with many spiritual consolations accompanying it. I believe the Lord gave me these moments to help me in the initial period of my discernment, to beckon me on to the next step, which was really taking action. After making this first step, by choosing to enter the seminary, God began to take away some of the “candy” and began to show me the importance of faithfulness, in regards to vocation. This was something I was defiantly not prepared for, I thought that taking this next step would just mean more consolation, but I can see in hindsight that I have a definite need to grow in the virtue of faithfulness, something I have never really nurtured before. This is all pretty general stuff though, so I guess I better get to the more personal aspect of my vocation.
Reflecting back on the past couple of years, I can defiantly see a little more clearly that God has been preparing me all my life, holding me, for the vocation He has prepared for me. I had a conversion experience over Christmas break during my junior year of high school. It changed my life forever, and it was a spark that opened my eyes to the reality of Christ in the world, and in my life. I didn’t receive any vocational calling through this experience, except to the holiness of the baptized, but looking back, I think that this was just one step that God was taking to lead me and prepare me for His call.
I had always grown up with the mindset that I was going to be married, and even after my conversion experience, this vocation was at the forefront of my mind. To be honest, I really just wanted to be a poor farmer who prayed. It wasn’t until the January of my senior year that I first experienced any sort of inclination towards a priestly vocation. My first inclination actually, Providential enough, came while flipping through the channels one night toward the end of January and landing on EWTN, which was showing a movie about a priest from Italy! I watched the movie for a little while, and was absolutely captivated by this priest, Don Bosco, I couldn’t turn it off. What he did for those poor boys filled me with awe and inspiration, and I remember before going to bed that night, praying to God saying that “if I am going to be a priest, I want to be like him.” This all took place before I felt called by Christ to discern the priesthood.
It was a couple days later on Ash Wednesday, that I first felt Jesus call me to the priesthood. Before Mass that morning I prayed that God would show me His mission for me during the Lenten season. I think it was at this point that I began to consider the priestly vocation, and I believe that the Spirit was working gently throughout that day, as I began to look into that vocation. It wasn’t until that night though, while in silent Adoration, I prayed again about my vocation and then listened. I remember a battle between marriage and the priesthood, because I longed to love intimately and be loved intimately by another person, but Jesus revealed to me that that is exactly what the priesthood is about, intimate union with Him and His Church. After seeing the priesthood like this, I accepted it, and felt strong consolation and peace.The main desires in my life right now, are to grow closer in relationship to Jesus and to be happy. I know this sounds vague, but that’s what it is. My desire for the work I wish to do in my life is to help souls, really to help them come to God and His goodness. Of course I desire to be happy also, and I believe that my desires are pointing towards happiness, both in this life and the next.
Reflection of the Youth Center.
My names Kevin Corcoran and I work at the Don Bosco youth center in Orange New Jersey with six other men in formation. I usually begin the night in the position of the door man, welcoming the children into the youth center for the night and setting the mood. While the children are being checked in, the kids already are in the gym playing games with the other guys and some Seton Hall University students who come to hang out. After gathering, we disperse into our different activities. I go downstairs at this time and run arts and crafts. This is always a blessing for me, seeing and encouraging the creativity of children. Although there is a set craft we are making, I encourage the kids to color and decorate, expressing themselves in what they make. Furthermore, with a small group of kids, I get to know them on a more personal basis. This is also special for the kids because they usually get to make something that they can bring home, showing off to their families what they made. After this we go back to the gym for the goodnight. This is also a special time for the kids because this is the part of the night that we focus on religion and Jesus, being ministers to the youth. The group is then split up between the gameroom and the gym. I go downstairs and oversee the gameroom. This is a third time in which I really get to spend a lot of time interacting with the kids. I have wonderful opportunities to actually play with the kids, whether it be pool, fusball, ping pong, air hockey, board games, or some others. The first group of little children then leave and the older guys come in. After their goodnight theres an hour of intense basketball. It seems intimidating at first, however, once you play basketball even once, then your a brother. I get to be a brother to groups, encouraging creativity, religion, and fun through the night.
A day in the life of a son of Mary
One of the blessings of living in a formation house in rolling out of the bed and into the chapel for mass. After getting up for mass at 7 in the morning, we eat a quick breakfast and jump into the minivans to go to Seton Hall for classes. Education and Roman Catholic Doctrine from 10-12:45 on Mondays and Wednesdays, and philosophy courses from 8:30-12:45 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. After that, I join most of the guys for lunch out on the University green or in one of the buildings if it’s cold. After which I usually go to the library to do homework. At four I meet with the rest of the guys at what we dubbed “The Holy Corner” to be picked up and driven back home. There’s usually about 45 minutes of free time then in which I do more homework. 4:45 sees us all in the chapel again for evening prayers and either the rosary (sometime on a walk through the neighborhood) or spiritual reading followed by an examination of conscious and a goodnight. We relax while eating dinner, do chores, then free time. I usually use this time to do homework or for myself. I always spend at least fifteen minutes a day sitting in quiet meditation before the Blessed Sacrament and go to bed about 10. A simple day yet busy, filled with work, study, and of course, prayer.
Throughout the first three years of high school, I was an atheist, simply not believing in the existence of God. Science proved everything to me. In my sophomore year of high school, I took a Lenten walk with my pre-confirmation teacher. The “walk” was more of me asking about the faith and trying to disprove the existence of God. After becoming closer to the teacher, they asked me simply, “What do you want most in life?” I answered immediately from my heart, “love.” What I meant by this was a woman to love, someone to marry, have children with, and spend the rest of my life with. This would become important later.
I continued my classes because I was made to by my parents. The rule was I had to attend classes, but the choice to confirm was my own. At the end of my junior year, I made confirmation. However, I did so for the wrong reasons. I confirmed myself first to, as I put it, “Shut up my parents and teachers”, second in case someone wanted me to be a God-Father in the future I would need to be confirmed. It was truly the work of the Holy Spirit that I came to be confirmed. At the time I considered myself Goth and indeed showed up for the confirmation wearing a tuxedo tailed jacket and goth pants with chains hanging on them.
I continued in my life until at the end of the summer when I began to date a young woman. I had found that love that I had longed for. My stubbornness against the faith began to change. I began to waiver in my beliefs, acknowledging that God could exist but my pride would not let me believe it. I continued to talk to my old teacher and they continued to prove to me that God really was there. He was in my heart, even if I didn’t know it.
On October, 23, 2007 I had the blessing to see a miracle. A few families and I were over at a parishioners house and present were two Benedictine priests. One of them had with him a miracle from Mexico. There exist in Mexico a church built on a spot where rose petals where seen falling from the sky. Each petal had within it, a depiction of a holy image. For example, there was the nativity, Jesus and the crown of thorns, the crucifixion, and Our Holy Mother. These pictures were part of the flower, not the vain and not painted on, but actually in the petal. To see these petals however, they need to be held under the light, for under normal light you cannot see them. Now you are still able to leave a rose at this church, and the petals will fall to the ground with holy images in the petal.
There, on that night, was God in front of me. He was present and very real. An existing and current miracle. How could I deny that. By Christmas, I was a believer again.
A year later, when talking to my cousin who was studying to be a Sister of Life in New York, I mentioned this story and knowing my girlfriend helped. She said a phrase that has struck me since: “You found love, and that is what God is, God is love.”
The following February, 2009, I went on a College Catholic retreat entitled Encounter with Christ. This weekend really taught me to listen to God, and how to do so. At the end of the weekend, I began to start having thoughts of the priesthood. However, I was still dating the girl from the year before, and put off all of these thoughts.
Eventually though, I found need to separate from her, which occurred in March. The entire month I continued to have thoughts of the priesthood. Then, after separating from my girlfriend, I was sitting on a bus, returning to college after a weekend home, I heard the call. I felt in my heart “Kevin, come become a priest for me.” It felt like I was falling in love, all over again. But more deeply and passionately, and this time, it was with Christ. My heart initially embraced it, I responded with everything I had.
After a few weeks though, I began to doubt. I kept thinking and discerning, but I knew what I wanted in my heart, for my life, was to be married. So I began to fight the call. But when you fight with God, you lose. I talked to a seminarian visiting my college about priesthood. I asked questions like, what about marriage and children? He responded by telling me that you marry the Catholic Church and you will have more children, the people of the church, than you ever dreamed of. With this in mind, I began to contemplate diocesan or religious life. With the help of my campus minister, I realized that coming from a big family and loving to be with people, community life would be better for me.
A friend, John, found out I was discerning and started to talk to me. He introduced me to a religious community called the Salesians. He introduced me to an online quiz sponsored by Vision Magazine that matches you up to the religious community that would be best for you. Of course, it turned out to be that the Salesians were at the top of the list. John then led me to their vocation website. After looking at the website for some time he offered that I should go to their discernment weekend with him in April, 2009. At first I was hesitant to go, however, later I consented and bought the plane tickets.
The discernment really emphasized two things: to put aside your fear and to do God’s will, not your own. I continued to fight this though as the weekend went on. But on Saturday night, during adoration, my eyes laid upon the Eucharist, and I knew that there, with the Salesians, is where I belonged. I revealed this to Fr. Franco, the vocation director, and started the application process that night. I finally put aside my fears and started to listen to the word of God and say yes.
Though I continued to have fears throughout the next three months before I joined, a great peace had come over me. I entered the house in August of 2009. I have to continue to listen to God’s will, put aside my fears, and follow his will everyday.
St. Mary FaustinaBorn in what is now west-central Poland (part of Germany before World War I), Helena was the third of 10 children. She worked as a housekeeper in three cities before joining the Congregation of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy in 1925. She worked as a cook, gardener and porter in three of their houses.
In addition to carrying out her work faithfully, generously serving the needs of the sisters and the local people, she also had a deep interior life. This included receiving revelations from the Lord Jesus, messages that she recorded in her diary at the request of Christ and of her confessors.
At a time when some Catholics had an image of God as such a strict judge that they might be tempted to despair about the possibility of being forgiven, Jesus chose to emphasize his mercy and forgiveness for sins acknowledged and confessed. “I do not want to punish aching mankind,” he once told St. Maria Faustina, “but I desire to heal it, pressing it to my merciful heart” (Diary 1588). The two rays emanating from Christ's heart, she said, represent the blood and water poured out after Jesus' death (Gospel of John 19:34)
Because Sister Maria Faustina knew that the revelations she had already received did not constitute holiness itself, she wrote in her diary: “Neither graces, nor revelations, nor raptures, nor gifts granted to a soul make it perfect, but rather the intimate union of the soul with God. These gifts are merely ornaments of the soul, but constitute neither its essence nor its perfection. My sanctity and perfection consist in the close union of my will with the will of God” (Diary 1107).
Sister Maria Faustina died of tuberculosis in Krakow, Poland, on October 5, 1938. Pope John Paul II beatified her in 1993 and canonized her seven years later.
To make a long story short: I wanted to be a priest and I had found the Diocese far from where my heart was drawn. So I looked into religious life and there found a home with the Salesians of Don Bosco.
My family and I emigrated to Springfield, Massachusetts during the winter of 1992. Immediately, we became involved with the Vietnamese Catholic congregation here. After attending a few Masses, my yearning to be an altar server was burning again. Then one day, before Mass, an altar server approached me and asked if I would like to serve. I was very delighted! My dream came true! After some training, I put on the cassock and the cross, ready to serve the Lord. I was very proud to be an altar server!
In the late 1990s, a newly ordained young Vietnamese priest, Fr. Quynh, came to be the shepherd of our congregation. After seeing me as altar server and being involved in many church activities, he suggested to my parents that I may have a vocation to the priesthood. I was only in middle school and the idea of becoming a priest was something I could not understand. My parents, especially my mother, began to encourage me to pray for and think of the priesthood. Often, people in the congregation told me I would make a good priest. This message was often echoed by friends, youth ministers, and many others through out high school and college. Slowly, I began to accept this calling.
After college graduation, I accepted a well-paying job offer near Boston. I lived away from home for a year. Driving to Springfield to visit my family every weekend, I meditated on the Rosary and Our Father prayers. During Mass, I listened carefully to the Scripture proclamation, homily, and the Eucharistic prayers. It seemed like for the first time, I coud hear God talking to me through these beautiful words. When receiving communion, I was moved to tears by the love of Jesus. God has given me so much in life. How can I repay Him? I attended a silent Ignatius Spiritual Exercise retreat. During this retreat , I seriously began to contemplate the meaning of my own life. Then the thought occurred to me: I want to offer myself totally to God.
On my very first trip back to Vietnam after 14 years, my family and I toured our beautiful yet poor home country. It felt more like a pilgrimage as I learned the history of my people, traced my family roots, and asked God what my future is. I prayed for my vocation. At the end of this tour, we stayed in a small town, Pleiku, in the central high-lands of Vietnam. Here, I attended Mass and was immediately captivated by the spiritual aura of the priest. He preached a beautiful sermon to a group of children. There was much love and compassion in the words and sound of his voice as he talked to them. I thought to myself, I want to be this kind of priest. The next day, I was invited to have breakfast with him and his group of young seminarians. He introduced himself as a Salesian of Don Bosco.
A few months after returning to the U.S., I began research about the Salesians of Don Bosco. In September 2006, I attended a 4-day come-and-see at the Salesian formation house in Orange, New Jersey. Immediately, I fell in love with the Salesian's way of life.
On August 27, 2007, I was welcomed into the Salesian family. Studying, living, working, and praying in the Salesian way has grown my conviction that God is calling me to be a priest to work with the young and the poor. The Salesian way of life encourages me to pray and live in union with Jesus Christ; to ever strive for holiness.
Looking back in the past two years, I can see that I have learned and matured much with the Salesians of Don Bosco. More importantly, I can feel the presence of God in my life. He has guided me through this spiritual and human journey with the invitation to go deeper into union with Him.
In the Summer of 2007, while I was still working at a life insurance company as a System Specialist, I took a 3-week vacation to work at the Mary Help of Christian camp in Tampa, Florida. It was a wonderful experience to be at this camp. I was first impressed by the beauty and breadth of this place. It seemed and felt like heaven on earth for kids. There were so many activities like water-skiing, archery, horse-back riding, canoeing, kayaking, swimming and more. Even more impressive was the spiritual aura and joy of this camp. At the chapel, I saw a Salesian sister teaching kids how to worship and praise the Lord through singing and movements. When Mass began, the music would blast with joy as kids and adults alike got into the rhythm and gave their all to God in their movements and gestures.
Each day after camp, I had dinner with the community of St. Philip Residence. In this residence lived a group of Salesian lay brothers and priests. It is a retirement home for these brothers who have worked zealously most of their lives in the service of the young and the poor. Life there was calm and joyful. The brothers and priests were always cracking jokes and telling amusing stories at dinner. There was much laughter and friendship in this house.
As the youngest guy coming from a different cultural background, I felt welcome and accepted by everyone. Though in their late 70s and 80s with much signs of old age, they were at peace and showed much humility in this simple life. They were always kind and generous to me. Often reflecting on this experience, I could sense the holiness of these brothers. They impressed me much with their simple lifestyle and genuine affections toward everyone.
A few weeks later, I quit my job to join the Salesian formation community of Orange, New Jersey as a Pre-Novice. When I first visited this house, a year before entering, I felt the same joy and love among young Salesian priests, brothers, and candidates. But at last I was here after many years of wrestling with my vocation. There were many guys who were also new like me. This first year began the much needed growth in my life.
At first, I really felt the separation anxiety from my family, friends, and home town Springfield, MA. I grew up in a traditional Vietnamese home, worked with Vietnamese youths at nearby Vietnamese parish, and hung out with mostly Vietnamese friends. As you can see, even though I've been living in America most of my life, it felt like I just came into a new country. I felt a cultural shock. Many things were foreign to me here: to speak only in English, to work with and teach African-American, Latino, and white kids, to serve food to the homeless guys, to go in front of hundreds of kids to share my personal vocation story, to do tedious chores in the house, to get along with fellow companions of different ethnicity and temperaments, and to be bombarded with many different classes while visiting the many works of this Province. I was definitely out of my comfort zone. But I kept going because I knew the Lord had a mission for me. He wanted me to be in this Salesian family. So one day during Mass after receiving communion, I broke down in tears. It seemed I heard Jesus was telling me: "Don't be afraid, I love you...my love will wash away all your anxieties". So I prayed: "Lord, I offer up to you my family, friends, and all that is familiar to me. I want to follow you, please help me."
As the time to apply for the Novitiate was approaching, I was quite nervous because I had just gotten used to living in Orange and now, I had to start anew again in a different community. "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." (Matthew 8:20) To follow Jesus, I must continue on. So, I wrote my letter of application and was soon accepted into Novitiate at Port Chester, NY.
During the summer before entering Novitiate, I worked at Camp Echo Bay in New Rochelle, NY. It was a fun and humbling experience. Being group leader of a dozen counselors and responsible for 140 campers from 4th to 6th grade was a great challenge! We started each morning with a prayer, a good morning talk and a cheer: "Pump, pump, pump it up, pump the Jesus spirit up..." or "God is good, all the time...all the time, God is Good...show Him some love!" Some campers were always joyful, others swing from mood to mood, and a few were always getting into troubles. Some counselors were on top of their game, while others needed some encouragement. From these campers and counselors, I've learned much lessons of life. It's so humbling to be an "adult" watching over the campers and to animate the counselors.
Novitiate began with a week long retreat. During this retreat, I heard God speaking to me through Scripture: "I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts." (Ezekiel 36:26). Throughout Novitiate I prayed for this grace, that Jesus would transform my stubborn heart into a kind and loving heart like his Sacred Heart. It's ironic that we have to be careful what we pray for, because God will answer our prayers. He answered my prayer by putting me in difficult situations with difficult people so to teach me how to love others; to love for the sake of others and to look beyond my own selfishness.
It was a year in learning to live the vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity so to imitate Christ. To live these vows is not easy, but I have made up my mind to follow Him in this way and He has made up his mind to help me. Christ gives me strength to overcome all temptations and weaknesses. While developing a deeper prayer life, I was immersed in classes and working with young people. It was there in Port Chester that I developed a greater appreciation for Salesian community life. Living in community, I could see how the Salesian's pedagogy of reason, religion, loving-kindness, and presence are so essential to living together. I am grateful to have lived with Salesians who truly exemplify this spirituality everyday.
Novitiate has helped me to examine closely how I relate to my brother Salesians, young people, as well as family and friends. I came to the realization that just by living my vocation to the best of my ability, I become a sign of hope and faith for others. Often among family, friends, and young people, I did not need to speak or do much, but by being present, listening, and smiling was enough to bring calmness and joy to them.
As in a blink of an eye, the year of Novitiate was ending and First Profession was only moments away. The few weeks leading up to First Profession, I was occupied with sending invitations, making the mass booklet, working at camp, closing personal bank accounts, seeing the doctor to ensure I was in good health, and tying up loose ends. The week before Profession, I was on retreat with fellow Salesians at the Marian Shrine in Stony Point, NY. Here, I experienced the family atmosphere and friendships with fellow professed Salesians; I felt very at home. Then, it was the day of Profession and to look down from the pulpit as I was proclaiming the Scripture and see all family members, Salesian confreres, Salesian Sisters, Cooperators, friends, and young people it was a touching experience. They all have come to pray for and encourage me to take this pivotal step in life. It was only 4 years ago, that I've expressed my desire to offer my life to God. Now, I was kneeling in His Church in front of Fr. Provincial professing: "...with complete freedom I offer myself totally to you..." I now belong totally to God. It is no longer I who live for myself, but God who lives in me and work through me.
I made my First Profession on August 16, 2009. Now as Post-Novice, for the next two years I will be studying philosophy and pre-theology at Seton Hall University in preparation for the priesthood some years from now. May you be encouraged by the love of Jesus to follow him now and always. Amen.
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